Thursday, August 21, 2008

US Olympic Relay Team catches Carlositis

I don't want it. Don't give it to me.

Damn you Carlos Rogers, DAMN YOU!


-noun (car-los-ite-des)
  1. The inability to hold onto to an object due to fear of success

  2. The inability to catch a football even if it was thrown by a 5 year old girl standing 2 feet away from you and it hits you in the chest.
Example: Dallas QB Tony Romo has been apparently diagnosed with Carlositis after he was unable to handle a simple snap that hit him in the head.

It's spreading!!!

The American men and the American women relay team both dropped the ball um I mean baton last night in Beijing. Darvis Patton and Tyson Gay of the US Mens relay team were unable to connect on the exchange in the 400- meter relay. The men were on the last pass of the preliminaries and couldn't complete the simple hand off. Later that evening Torri Edwards and Lauryn Williams of the Women's relay team also fumbled the Baton in the 4 x 100m relay.

Williams said, "If people want to assess the blame to me, that's OK ... I mean, I can take whatever it is that people are going to dish out... She was there. I don't know what happened"
Lauryn, the answer is simple. You've contracted a severe case of Carlositis. Carlositis arises at the most inopportune moments, see Redskins vs Seahawks 2005 Divisional Playoff game. Carlositis apparently keeps you and your team, if applicable, from succeeding whether it be in the Olympics or vs a Divisional opponent in the Playoffs.

I'm not sure if Lauryn and Carlos have ever met or if the disease has now become airborne but I've emailed this Blog to a friend at the CDC to make him aware of what's going on. If we find any more cases of Carlositis we'll post them ASAP.

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