Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Absolutely Worthless

I've been sticking up for Albert Haynesworth all off-season. I've called into numerous local radio shows defending the guy and I've also debated my fellow Redskin fans on various message boards. My argument on Haynesworth's behalf was that Sean Taylor, God rest his soul, didn't go to OTAs. He didn't even return Coach Gibbs' phone calls during the off-season but he always performed when it mattered. Shawn Springs would work out in Arizona during the Summer and always come to camp in phenomenal shape. Why can't Albert work out with his former trainer? Why can't he work out with the 1 person responsible for getting him into such great shape while he played for Tennessee? Haynesworth explained,

"to get me back to where I want to be, I need the serious training, I need the stuff that got me where I'm at."

Lets be real the work outs he was missing were "Voluntary". Who voluntarily goes to work during their vacation? I know I don't.

I gave Albert the benefit of the doubt and decided to wait and pass judgement on him once the Workouts were "Mandatory". Well that time is now and Albert Haynesworthless requested a trade the night before he was scheduled for a 6am physical at Redskins Park. No one likes waking up early but if I was being paid 100 Million dollars I'd get up at 2am and show up to work wearing a dress if my boss asked me to.

Everyone is saying that the Redskins either need to trade Albert or cut him but why? There is no way the Redskins will get any value for him in a trade or else that would've happened already. If they cut Albert then he basically gets to have his cake and eat it too. I think its time to put old Fat Albert on a diet. Don't give him a trade. Don't cut him. Fine him the maximum amount you can every single day that POS doesn't show up. If he does eventually show up to Training Camp then make his life a living HELL. Put him on Special Teams and make him run wind sprints till he pukes. He signed a contract and he needs to be held accountable for it.
I'm sick and tired of these Millionaire Divas signing long term contracts and then requesting a restructure Two years into the deal. The only way Dan Snyder should let that thief out of his contract is if he returns the money he stole.
If football doesn't work out for Albert he could always become a magician. He single handily over night made all Redskins fans hate him more then they hate Dan Snyder.

Monday, June 7, 2010

SportsCenter aka Jerry Jones Bitch

I haven't bothered to watch ESPN since they completely mishandled their coverage of Sean Taylor's death. As far as I'm concerned, Comcast Sportsnet is the "World Wide Leader in Sports" and they might as well rename ESPN to CYLN, Cowboys Yankees Lebron Network.

This morning I was hoping to catch the highlights of the Blackhawks beat down of the Flyers on Comcast but I missed it and it was 9:00am and time for an infomercial. I had no choice but to turn to Sports Center to watch the highlights. I turned the game off at 5-3 Hawks and I wanted to see how they got to 7 goals. I'm not a Blackhawks fan I just really hate all things Philly! I hate Philly so much that I put mustard on my bagel instead of cream cheese every morning. I had a feeling that the top story would be the Lakers/Celtics Game 2 and shocker I was right. I refuse to watch the NBA Finals until game 6 or 7 because everyone knows that the NBA is as crooked as a dog's hind leg. I was hoping the next story would be the Blackhawks vs Flyers game but I was wrong. Apparently Tony Romo qualifying for the US Open is a bigger story then Game 5 of the Stanley Cup finals!

I understand that Football is god and hockey is maybe 3rd or even 4th on most peoples sport rankings but ... Are you F!ng serius?

I LOVE football but Tony Romo trying to save Par has nothing to do with FOOTBALL! The only time I ever want to hear Tony Romo's name during the off-season is A: when he unsuccessfully commits suicide or B: when his sex change operation is complete. Who the hell is in charge of producing this show? Does Jerry Jones give Chris Berman a handjob every morning to ensure sure that the Cowgirls are mentioned at least once in each broadcast? I willing to bet that Wade Phillips gives Alexi Lalas a reach around to make sure that the Cowboys are mentioned Saturday during the England vs USA World Cup. ESPN, do us all a favor and swallow first then broadcast the real sports stories.