I miss Ade Jimoh!

I never thought the day would come where I would ever say these 4 words.

"I miss Ade Jimoh"

If you were a Skins fan from 2003 - 2005 you know who Ade Jimoh is and how bad he was at CB. The only reason he ever made the team was because he was good on special teams.

I would kill to have Ade back if we can get rid of Justin Tryon. I was at the game last night and our D played like crap. We couldn't generate any kind of pass rush upfront. If it was 3rd and long all the Jaguars did was throw to who ever Tryon was covering and it was a guaranteed 1st down. I understand he is a rookie and he was playing against some Veteran WRs but Tryon got beat like he stole something.

SI.com rates each player in the draft and their Negatives on Tryon were that he was "Not a physically strong defensive back and loses out to large receivers. Struggles making plays with his back to the ball." I understand that one of the main reason we drafted Tryon was because he was a Track Superstar but those skills don't always translate to the field.

The NFL is a copycat league and everyone is drafting bigger taller receivers after they saw what Plexiglass did for the Giants. Tryon is only 5'9 and I don't think he's going to go through another growth spurt anytime soon. If this kid doesn't show a dramatic improvement I say we cut his ass and see if we can get Ade back from the Patriots.

Cowboy JOTD 08-29-08

Last nights game was horrible and if your anything like me you want to punch a Cowboy fan in the face right now. This joke might make you feel a little better until you can find a Cowboy fan to knock out.

So a blind man goes into a bar, he orders a drink, and after a while of sitting in the silence he leans over to the bartender and says "Hey, would you like to hear a Dallas Cowboy joke?" Unbeknownst to the blind man he's actually in a Cowboys themed bar! The man next to him goes "Fella, before you tell that joke you ought to know that the bartender is a Cowboys fan, the bouncer is a Cowboys fan, and I'm a 6-5 260 Cowboys fan... what's more is that the man on your right is a Cowboys fan with a black belt in karate and the man to my left is a Cowboys fan who's a pro wrestler... so think about it real carefully fella, you still wanna tell that Cowboys joke?"The blind man says:"No, not if I'm going to have to explain it 5 times."

It could have been worse...

It could have been worse, we could be the Giants. The only saving grace from last Saturday night's game is that Jason Taylor is only supposed to be out for 10-14 days. I'm just glad he didn't end up like Osi Umenyiora.

I understand Taylor has a consecutive game streak of 130 starts but what's more important? The record or your team?
The record for most consecutive games streak is 270 by Jim Marshall. Taylor isn't even close to breaking that record and we have 15+ games to worry about after the Giants (yes I said 15+). I just hope the training staff doesn't pull another Lavar and bring him back to soon and he gets hurt even worse or that Taylor doesn't try and keep this meaningless stat alive

47-3?

WTF happened?

I apologize for not writing about this sooner but I was hoping this past weekends game was a nightmare and it didn't really happen. I'm a homer and I love my team to a fault at times but I honestly think we have the talent to be a Superbowl Contender and but last Sat's game has made me question this teams heart.

I know it's just preseason and it doesn't count but Saturday nights game was a debacle. I almost wish I had drowned in the Shenandoah River Saturday on my god awful tubing trip just so I would have had an excuse for missing the game.

We were 3-0 coming into that game and we're still 3-1 but the fact of the matter is the 1st team didn't show up. The Offensive line was horrible and they didn't give Jason any time to throw the ball. The Defense couldn't get any pressure on Delhomme and when we blitzed a LB or a CB they would get their to late. It made being a Redskin fan downright embarrassing.

Campbell apparently held onto the ball to long but I find that somewhat hard to believe considering he didn't have any time to throw the ball. The Rockettes would have done a better job blocking for Jason then the "Dirtbags" did. I don't understand how a Joe Bugel coached group could have played that horrible. Jansen has looked like a revolving door most of the preseason and now he's hurt again. I love Jansen and he's one of the "Core Redskins" but if he plays like this in the regular season Campbell is going to get destroyed.

I don't know if the whole team was hungover from Friday night or if the plane got in late but they all looked flat. It seemed like the team gave up and half-assed it after Jason Taylor went down hoping the same thing wouldn't happen to them.

Preseason is a joke and it doesn't matter but you have to at least play with some kind of pride and heart but last Saturday night the Redskins didn't show any at all.

Cowboy JOTD 08-25-08

I figure we could all use a laugh after that debacle of a game on Saturday night.

There's a guy from Washington, DC (Redskins fan) driving from DC to Dallas, and a guy from Dallas (Cowboys fan) driving from Dallas to DC. In the middle of the night with no other cars on the road they hit each other head on and both cars go flying off in different directions. The Redskins fan manages to climb out of his car and surveys the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I am really lucky to be alive!" Likewise the Cowboys fan scrambles out of his car and looks at the wreckage. He too says to himself, "I can't believe I survived this wreck!" The Cowboy fan walks over to the Redskin and says, "Hey man, I think this is a sign from God that we should put away our differences and live as friends instead of arch rivals. The Redskin fan thinks for a moment and says, " You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. Now I'm going to see what else survived this wreck." So the Redskins fan pops open his trunk and finds a full unopened bottle of Jack Daniels. He says to the Cowboys fan, "I
think this is another sign from God that we should toast to our newfound
understanding and friendship." The Cowboys fan says, "You're damn right!" and grabs the bottle and starts sucking down Jack Daniels. After putting away nearly half of the bottle the Cowboys fan hands it back to the Redskins fan and says, "Your turn!" The Redskins fan twists the cap back on the bottle and says, "Nahh, I think I'll wait for the cops to show up."

Cowboy JOTD 08-22-08

A boy is wallking near Fed Ex Field when he sees a man being attacked by a viscious dog. He finds a stick and charges the dog without any fear. He gets to the dog, slips the stick through the collar and twists really hard, breaking the dog's neck and saving the man's life. A news reporter for the Washington Post was close by and witnessed the whole event. He rushes over to the hero and tells him he wants to put this in the paper with the head line: "Redskins Fan Saves Man from Imminent Death"The boy replies "I am not a Redskins fan." Perplexed, the reporter asks "what kind of fan are you?" The boy replies " A Cowboy fan!" The reporter decides on another headline: "Ignorant Redneck Ba$tard Kills Family Pet."

US Olympic Relay Team catches Carlositis

I don't want it. Don't give it to me.



Damn you Carlos Rogers, DAMN YOU!





Carlositis


-noun (car-los-ite-des)

1. The inability to hold onto to an object due to fear of success


2. The inability to catch a football even if it was thrown by a 5 year old girl standing 2 feet away from you and it hits you in the chest.

Example: Dallas QB Tony Romo has been apparently diagnosed with Carlositis after he was unable to handle a simple snap that hit him in the head.

It's spreading!!!

The American men and the American women relay team both dropped the ball um I mean baton last night in Beijing. Darvis Patton and Tyson Gay of the US Mens relay team were unable to connect on the exchange in the 400- meter relay. The men were on the last pass of the preliminaries and couldn't complete the simple hand off. Later that evening Torri Edwards and Lauryn Williams of the Women's relay team also fumbled the Baton in the 4 x 100m relay.

Williams said, "If people want to assess the blame to me, that's OK ... I mean, I can take whatever it is that people are going to dish out... She was there. I don't know what happened"

Lauryn, the answer is simple. You've contracted a severe case of Carlositis. Carlositis arises at the most inopportune moments, see Redskins vs Seahawks 2005 Divisional Playoff game. Carlositis apparently keeps you and your team, if applicable, from succeeding whether it be in the Olympics or vs a Divisional opponent in the Playoffs.

I'm not sure if Lauryn and Carlos have ever met or if the disease has now become airborne but I've emailed this Blog to a friend at the CDC to make him aware of what's going on. If we find any more cases of Carlositis we'll post them ASAP.

Cowboy JOTD 08-21-08

Two guys from Dallas die and wake up in hell. The devil stops by to check on them and sees them dressed in coats, gloves and earmuffs, warming themselves around the fire. The devil asked them, "What are you two doing? Isn't it hot enough for you?!" The guys reply, "Well, you do realize that we're from Dallas, Texas. After our summers there, this is like a cold wave!" The devil decides that these two guys aren't miserable enough, so he cranks up the heat! The next day, the devil stops by again and there are the two guys again dressed in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. The devil asked them, "It's awfully hot down here! Can't you guys feel that?!" Again the guys answered, "Well, like we told you yesterday, we are from Dallas, Texas. We have suffered through the dog days of a Texas summer. This is like winter down here!"

The devil gets really steamed and he decides to crank up the heat as high as it will go. People are wailing and screaming all over hell. However, when he stops by to check on the two men, he finds them in light jackets, grilling steaks and drinking beer! The devil couldn't believe his eyes. "Everyone down here is in absolute misery! You two seem to be enjoying yourselves!" The two men reply, "Well, as you know, we are from Dallas, Texas. This weather is like a fall morning during football season! So we thought we would have a little tailgate party!" The devil is so mad that he can't see straight! He decides that if the heat doesn't bother these two guys, he will go in the opposite direction. He decides to shut all the heat off in hell! The next day, the temperature is below zero. Icicles are hanging everywhere. People are shivering so bad, they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth! The devil smiled as he went to check on the two Texans. He finds them back in their coats, gloves and earmuffs. They were jumping up and down and cheering! The devil was dumbfounded. "I don't get it! When I turned the heat up, you were happy! Now it's freezing cold, and you are celebrating! What's wrong with you two?" The Texans looked at the devil in surprise. "Well, don't you know? If hell froze over, that must mean that the Cowboys must've got back to the Super Bowl!"

Tony Romo's "Beard" to sell Beer

Urban Dictionary defines a BEARD as : a man or woman used as a cover for a gay partner - example - Jessica Simpson

I just wanted to provide that definition in case you guys didn't know what a Beard was.

Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo's "Beard", is apparently now selling beer for Stampede Brewing Co. of Dallas Texas. Jessica was signed on to be their spokeswoman for Stampede Light Plus.

Stampede beer is apparently made from

"Pure Spring Water ... and boosted by a little extra 'plus'. It's light. It's refreshing. It goes down smooth as butta "

It's the first Government approved beer with added B-vitamins. The beer apparently is enhanced with thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, pyridoxine and folate. It's being promoted as “Zero Fat” – “All Muscle” and “The Power Beer”.

If I wanted to drink something with Vitamins in it I would go buy a Vitamin Water. I don't know about you but the last thing I'm thinking about when I go to Happy Hour or buy a case of beer is how many vitamins are in it. I don't check to see how many calories it has I check the Alcohol %. No self respecting straight male cares about how many vitamins are in their beer. The beer is apprently for flaming homosexuals that don't want to get caught drinking Zima in public locations. They instead ask the bartender for a Stampede Light to mask their sexuality.

Who better to hide the that fact that you sell gay beer then Jessica Simpson?

We all know Tony Romo is a closet homosexual and the only reason he's pretending to go out with Jessica is to hide his queerness. The only reason Stampede Brewing Co hired the "Beard" was to cover up the fact that they are trying to sell a Spritzer to the American people and pass it off as beer. If you're to embarassed to promote your gay product as a beer for gay men then don't produce it. Maybe the Retarded Cowboy fans are to stupid to realize what they are drinking but for the love of God keep that stuff in Texas which I've heardis full of Steers and Queers.

Cowboy JOTD 08-20-08

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Dallas Cowboy fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Cowboy fans. Everyone in the class raises their hands except one little girl. The teacher looks at the little girl with surprise and says, "Jenny, why didn't you raise your hand?" Jenny replied, "Because I'm not a Cowboy fan!" The still shocked teacher asked, "Well, if you aren't a Cowboy fan, then who are you a fan of?" Jenny answered, "I'm a Redskin fan and proud of it!" The teacher couldn't believe her ears. "Jenny, why in the world are you a Redskin fan?!" Jenny replied, "Because my mom is a Redskin fan, my dad is a Redskin fan, so I'm a Redskin fan, too!" The teacher answered in a slightly annoyed tone, "That is no reason for you to be a Redskin fan! You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was a moron and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?!" Jenny smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Dallas Cowboy fan!"

Joe Horn - Released from Falcons and shows signs of Dementia

Hello Information? what's the # for 911?

Joe Horn was finally released from the Atlanta Falcons today and he apparently has been showing signs of Dementia. Horn was recently interviewed by Dan Patrick and told Dan that he'd like to play for a Super Bowl contender and he named the Cowboys and the Eagles.

The Eagles? Are you serious?

The Eagles have never won a Superbowl and god willing never will in my life time. I hate Dallas as you may have gathered by the name of the Blog but the Eagles are 2nd on my list of Team
Planes that I wish would crash (fphilly.blogspot.com coming soon).

If Joe Horn really thinks that the Eagles are a "Super Bowl Contender" someone really needs to have him take a Wonderlic Test before signing him to a contract. I'm willing to bet that Vince Young scores are higher then Horn's.

Horn is 36 and hasn't had a good season since 2004. He had 27 catches last year for 243 yards. Does he actually think a "Super Bowl Contender" would even want him? Does he think that he's the missing piece for a Super Bowl team? If so, someone call the nursing home and let them know Joe needs a bed.

Carlos "I'm Scared of Footballs" Rogers recovering well after knee surgery

Damnit I mised it again

I've been a Carlos Rogers defender over the past couple of years and I'm glad that we drafted him back in 2005. Smoot left us to go play on the Love Boat and we needed another corner opposite of Shawn "I'm darker then Wesley Snipes" Springs. I was upset to see Carlos go down in that Patriots game but I'd rather not talk about it I'm still trying to block that Sunday out of my mind.

Rogers reconstructed right knee is apparently holding up well and he was able to play in last weeks Jets game. I'm happy to hear that he can run and plant and hopefully cover again but can we do anything about his hands?

Is there such a thing as finger transplant surgery? If there is I would be happy to give up a couple of mine to possibly help him catch a damn interception. I understand he's a DB for a reason and if he could catch he would be a WR but come on now man how hard is it to catch a freaking football when it hits you in the chest?

Can we all pool together some money to buy him one of those automatic football throwing machines for his backyard?

I have no doubt that we would have beaten the Seahawks in the Playoffs back in 2005 if Carlos would have held onto that Pick in the Flat. I thought I was dreaming last year when he finally caught an interception and returned it 61 yards for a TD vs the Lions. The kid was the 9th overall pick in the 2005 draft and its about time for him to start living up to his Playmaker persona and hold onto a couple of INTs. He can obviously do it unless this picture was photoshopped

Dallas Cowboy Joke of the Day 08-19-08

There is a Redskins fan, a Giants fan, and a Cowboys fan that got caught drunk in Saudi Arabia, where it is highly illegal to consume alcohol. They are all sentenced to be whipped 200 times. Luckily the whipper was a football fan and seeing as they were too, he gave each of them one wish.

The Giants fan was first, he asked if he could have a pillow tied to his back to make it hurt less. But the whip broke through the pillow after like 20 whips and the Giants fan was in extreme pain.

The Cowboys fan saw what had happened, so he asked to have 2 pillows tied to his back, but the whip again broke through.

Last was the Redskins fan. The whipper said "You are a redskins fan, the greatest team in the world, you are allowed 2 wishes!" So the Redskins fan thought for a minute. "For my first wish, i want to be whipped 1,000 times!" The whipper was confused. "For my second wish, tie the Cowboys fan to my back!!!"

HTTR

OVERRATED!!!!!

For those of you that don't know or care Bradie James is the starting inside LB for the Cowgirls and he had this to say after getting spanked by Jay Cutler and the Denver Broncos

"Yeah, the whole key is to win," James said. "We're not ready to
play the season yet, and that's evident"

I understand it's still the Preseason and it doesn't mean a damn thing but if Dallas is so good then why are they 0-2 so far?


If PacMan is so great then why did he get burned by Brandon Marshall?

If Romo is the next Aikman then why does he not have a Touchdown yet?

I'll tell you why.
It's because they're OVERRATED!

All of you Donkeys that think the Cowgirls are going to win the Superbowl this year better wake up and smell the manure.

I'm sorry T.O. I didn't mean to talk about your QB. Please Don't cry you Faggot.

Retarded Cowboy Fans

I'm not sure if you guys feel the same way I do but I'm getting real sick of all these fake ass Cowboy fans that have never even been to Dallas. Everyone knows at least one person that fits that description.

These idiots actually believe their Bama ass team is going to win the Superbowl this year. I'm glad your fag team is on Hard Knocks this year that way we can all see the 3 ring Circus your franchise has become.

Your team hasn't won a playoff game in 13 years! You guys had home field advantage in the Playoffs and you lost to Eli Manning. When are you guys going to wake up and realize that your not America's Team. Cowboy fans are a bunch of over dramatic attention whores that like arguing with people for no reason. Your all a bunch of Haters that didn't get enough attention from your parents when you were growing up and now your trying to make up for it. The Dallas Cowboys are a bunch of over-rated convicts, Jerry Jones is the antichrist, and the average Cowboy fan has an IQ smaller than their shoe size. Do all of us a favor and just move to that sh!t hole town or drink a bottle of Drano.

If you live in Texas I'm sorry God doesn't love you .

Colt 45???

(Made by TorresA)

I'm starting to become a believer in Colt Brennan. I know he's been playing against 3rd and 4th team players but the kid has shown some poise in the pocket and he has made some "Football Plays" when he's had time. I understand Todd Collins got us into the playoffs last year but he hasn't done much working with the 2nd team offense this Preseason. Everyone knows Todd was a product of Al Saunders system and I want to see what Colt can do with some better players around him.

Jay-Z give Colt a chance and let him play against some better competition. We've seen what Todd can do. He's been in the league for 12 years. We want to see what Colt can do and if it's all been a fluke or does this kid really have what it takes to be a QB in the NFL. If Colt does succeeded I'm going to start a Petition to send to the NFL so QB's can wear the #45

Popping my Blog Cherry

I would first of all like to apologize to you guys for taking so long to get this damn thing together. I know I promised all of you last year that I would have this done midway through the season but I got real busy after Sean passed away and then when Coach retired I needed to take a break from all things football and all things Redskin.

I know some of you are thinking how can I call myself a Diehard Skins fan if that's true but I bleed Burgundy and Gold. I love this team and I always will no matter what.