Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Tony Romo's "Beard" to sell Beer

Urban Dictionary defines a BEARD as : a man or woman used as a cover for a gay partner - example - Jessica Simpson

I just wanted to provide that definition in case you guys didn't know what a Beard was.
Jessica Simpson, Tony Romo's "Beard", is apparently now selling beer for Stampede Brewing Co. of Dallas Texas. Jessica was signed on to be their spokeswoman for Stampede Light Plus.
Stampede beer is apparently made from
"Pure Spring Water ... and boosted by a little extra 'plus'. It's light. It's refreshing. It goes down smooth as butta "
It's the first Government approved beer with added B-vitamins. The beer apparently is enhanced with thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, pyridoxine and folate. It's being promoted as “Zero Fat” – “All Muscle” and “The Power Beer”.

If I wanted to drink something with Vitamins in it I would go buy a Vitamin Water. I don't know about you but the last thing I'm thinking about when I go to Happy Hour or buy a case of beer is how many vitamins are in it. I don't check to see how many calories it has I check the Alcohol %. No self respecting straight male cares about how many vitamins are in their beer. The beer is apprently for flaming homosexuals that don't want to get caught drinking Zima in public locations. They instead ask the bartender for a Stampede Light to mask their sexuality.

Who better to hide the that fact that you sell gay beer then Jessica Simpson?

We all know Tony Romo is a closet homosexual and the only reason he's pretending to go out with Jessica is to hide his queerness. The only reason Stampede Brewing Co hired the "Beard" was to cover up the fact that they are trying to sell a Spritzer to the American people and pass it off as beer. If you're to embarassed to promote your gay product as a beer for gay men then don't produce it. Maybe the Retarded Cowboy fans are to stupid to realize what they are drinking but for the love of God keep that stuff in Texas which I've heardis full of Steers and Queers.

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